Ferreting out what exactly is to blame for the current revisionist fairy tale trend in movies isn’t the easiest task– the concepts for Snow White and the Huntsman, Mirror Mirror seem to have bubbled up at the same time, only being predated slightly development for Jack the Giant Killer– but whatever’s responsible, the latest grab for your money is Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters, which yeah, sounds like a parody. But nope, this is an actual honest-to-God movie with a budget and director and stars and everything. Rising stars Jeremy Renner and Gemma Arterton star as the fictional siblings, who after almost being cooked alive, dedicate their lives to ridding the world of witches. So yeah, it’s basically an old-timey co-ed version of Supernatural, without the incredible presence that Jared Padalecki brings to the screen. A more realistic continuation of the story of “Hansel and Gretel” would involve them going back to their father and his wife and punishing them for being fucked up, don’t you think?