I couldn’t watch an episode of Game of Thrones without immediately wanting to find out everything that came next, which I why I spent November and December 2011 essentially holed up in my room blazing through clunky exposition after clunky exposition (at one point, the act of cunnilingus is described as “her cunt became the world”—sexy!), but I totally understand GoT fans who’ve neglected the reading in favor of just waiting to see how it plays out.
That might be the prudent choice, since it seems like we’re never going to get a conclusion to the series, of which five books have been released against two remaining installments. George R.R. Martin, whose writing pace could be generously described as “methodical,” has signed a developmental deal with HBO to produce a handful of new shows for the cable network that made him exorbitantly rich—which is great news for his accountant, but not so much for the fans wishing he’d just bunker down and tell us what’s up with Daenerys’s dragons, and who Jon Snow’s real parents are (I mean, any down fan already knows, but official confirmation would be cool), and so forth. The last two books have taken five and six years to complete, and Martin’s increased television responsibilities wouldn’t seem to shorten that process. Do your thing, GRRM, but know that people on the Internet are going to be bummed out.