Culture

Why Apple’s Latest iPhone Update Is Fucking Obnoxious

Culture

Why Apple’s Latest iPhone Update Is Fucking Obnoxious

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Remember that terrible day when everyone with an iPhone woke up, only to find out Apple and Bono gave them a free U2 album that no one wanted? That was pretty cool right? Having to explain to people looking at your iTunes that you actually don’t have the musical taste of a middle-aged administrative assistant, with wine stained teeth and a bookshelf full of Dan Brown novels was fun. Well, the geniuses have struck again and if you were scammed into downloading the latest iPhone update you already know why.

Coming off their announcement that they’d officially redefined the watch, Apple has given you something else that you don’t want or need: another app that you can’t delete. Yup, after you update your phone to fix some “bugs,” you’ll also now have a sweet Apple Watch app staring you in the face, reminding you how much better your life will be if you wear a digital screen on your wrist and talk into it like a Trekkie or some shit.

Much like the Stocks, Newsstand, and other cool apps that you probably are using right now, you can’t get rid of your Apple Watch app, much less even fucking use it because it doesn’t come out for over a month. Until then you can just stare at it or move it way over to the right and keep it out of sight–that’s your call. Oh, don’t try to download any useful apps today though, because the Apple Store was down this AM, so yeah… technology. Now go jam “California (There Is No Love)” because you need a fart rock, pop punk U2 jam in your life, dude.