Who among us has not fantasized about getting it on with Bradley Cooper? And while my Bradley Cooper fantasy involves the magical brain pills from Limitless (personally I don’t think that film explored what those pills would do to your sex life enough), national treasure Amy Schumer has a simpler fantasy. A more romantic fantasy.
The comedian revealed her dream sexual encounter with Cooper as well as a handful of other man babes to GQ as part of their annual Man of the Year issue (Tom Brady is on the cover, thus making him The Man of the Year. He’s the man of most years in my books).
Schumer’s Brady fantasy is detailed but sexually tame:
Tom Brady picks me up in a nice car. He says, “Get in,” and I do, and we drive fast. We are listening to some dogshit on the radio that he likes. Even in my fantasy, I can’t imagine he likes good music. I turn it down and say, “Hey, what happened where is your supermodel wife I thought we were all spending the day together?” and he pulls over and takes my hand and looks in my eyes and says: “I didn’t invite her because I wanted to be alone with you. Yes, she is beautiful and the mother of my children, but you are smart and funny and I’ve been waiting to have sex with someone with a real body, a real ass, who has lots of bad angles depending on the lighting, and I want to be with you and not that supermodel who does yoga on the beach a lot.” I sit silently for a few seconds. Then I get out of the car and apologize for what I have just done to the seat and I run down the highway screaming, “I knew it!”
And while that’s pretty lolz, Schumer’s Cooper fantasy is much more to the point: