For those of you (most of you) who annually rank high on Santa Clause’s “Naughty List,” designer Tom Ford has just released a perfectly provocative necklace to add to your wish list this year. Not only has this phallic accessory set the prudent public ablaze, its not-to-subtle allusion to the crucifix has the Catholic League especially enraged—perfect.
All this madness comes at a pressing time when Ford’s old venture, Gucci, could desperately use his help. The 93-year-old luxury brand announced Friday that its chief executive Patrizio di Marco and creative director Frida Giannini were both stepping down, the biggest shift since Ford abandoned ship in 2004. While some are speculating that Hedi Slimane and Riccardo Tisci are the frontrunners for Gucci’s creative director position, we think the brand could use a serious jolt of energy a la Ford—maybe even a full, phallic collection of penis-shaped, penis-printed everything.
Ford’s controversial “Penis Pendant” fittingly comes in small, medium and large sizes, in either palladium-plated silver or gold plated brass. Priced at $790 each, they’re certainly among the more opulent white elephant gifts this season—a daring, handmade accessory for the audacious few.
Considering Ford’s decision to market these debatably blasphemous pendants near the holidays, it seems as though the controversial designer was almost begging for a backlash. And with the fury of angry think pieces and ravenous tweets that have consumed the Internet throughout the weekend, this unruly response reveals just how uncomfortable our society is with sexuality—it’s a penis, people.
Anti-gay Catholic League president Bill Donohue is among the haters, targeting Ford’s sexuality on the organization’s website. He writes, “When we learned of this item, I said to the staff that I bet this guy Tom Ford is a homosexual. I was right. He even thinks he’s married.”
Last April, Ford announced his marriage to long time partner and journalist Richard Buckley, so Donohue’s attempt at a homophobic jab, here, fell flat. Maybe what he was really attempting to say is that he wanted a penis pendant for Christmas. We see right through you, Donohue.