December 28, 2012

Not intimately, of course. Besides the logistics of background checking any soul lucky enough to stand a few precious feet away from her Queen Beyness, there’s no chance that could happen within a hemisphere of Jay-Z without Reasonable Doubt-era Hov emerging him his shell. But if you’re appealing enough, you can win a chance to be a background dancer during Beyonce’s halftime show at the Super Bowl, as 50 fans will be selected from a Pepsi-sponsored contest that begins on Saturday. The dancer hopeful has to upload a photo of him or her striking a dance-related pose — yes, that means no dick pics — for the chance to step on stage, along with a very lucky friend who will forever be in your debt. (So make sure to save the payback for when you need to someone to take the fall on a murder charge, because who could say no given the original favor?) You could shimmy your way in blissful, Bey-aided glee, or you could do the real prudent political move and rip a photo of the Pope while shouting “FIGHT THE REAL ENEMY” before the security guards have a chance to eat you. I trust you know the best option. Contestants can enter at, so set your Google Tasks in reminder.

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