December 6, 2012

Everyone breaks up, which is sad. Not everyone gets to parlay that heartbreak into a viral-video in the making, which is even sadder, because if there’s one thing we all deserve more than a stable relationship it’s fleeing internet notoriety. So don’t feel too bad for couple you’ve never heard of, (but have at least one exact replica of in your social circle depending on your proximity to a farmer’s market/art space rock club) Jonathan and Ivory, (which, of course “Ivory”) who have announced to the world that they are breaking up in this squiddly little song “We’ve Got to Break Up.”  (via Jezebel) Considering the face paint-staring in the camera twee-love melancholy of the concept, I’m going to start thinking of this as the prequel to “Somebody That I Used to Know” that hints at just what it was that went wrong.

Jonathan, who records tons of songs and posts them to YouTube, and Ivory, who has access to some sort of woodwind type thing, have been together for five years, but are now unable to overcome their differences over the idea of parenthood, which is a bummer, but not as much as that bat in the cave Ivory apparently didn’t notice she was dealing with before getting on camera. Seriously, how distracting is that?

Anyway, something tells me neither of these two will be single for long after this, because everyone wants to fuck a meme.

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