Culture Teams with NASA to Blast Song to Mars. Sadly, It Came Back

Culture Teams with NASA to Blast Song to Mars. Sadly, It Came Back


In what has to be the most awkward downtime small talk around the water cooler scenario since he teamed up with Mick Jagger and Jennifer Lopez to play choo-choo trains in that one ghastly video, has partnered with NASA to blast himself all the fucking way to Mars.

“What’d that cost? Got to be worth a few billion, right?”, the nation’s few remaining tasteful music listeners agreed upon hearing the news. But guess what? The joke is on us, because it was only one of his songs. “NOT PART OF THE DEAL,” said that one mohawked NASA hispter bro.

The Curiosity rover, as it turns out, aside from gathering invaluable information in the interests of science and the betterment of mankind that will pay dividends generations into the future, had to pull over to look for a wi-fi signal so it could upload a song by the one main guy from the Black Eyed Peas and beam it all the way back to Earth, where, trust me, we already have more than enough copies of it just lying around.

If that plot sounds vaguely familiar, it’s because it’s similar to the premise of Rob Reid’s new novel Year Zero, in which aliens are plotting to destroy the Earth because our pop music is so good, and they’ve been pirating it for so long throughout the universe that rather than pay the back royalties they owe, they decide to blow us up to erase the debt. I don’t think, however, we’re going to have to worry about that happening in the case of a song. “Not feeling it,” said a humanoid gas cloud from Kepler-47b.

Read more about it here or here (lol @ Myspace links) I guess. I mean, I didn’t actually read either of those links, because I’m good on the details of this whole thing, but I’m just saying that it’s an option, if you wanted to do that on your own time. Maybe later after work when no one is looking.

OK fine, here’s some details.

NASA’s Mars rover Curiosity has just become the Red Planet’s first public radio service, transmitting singer’s new track “Reach for the Stars” to Earth.

Discovery Education, a provider of digital resources to kindergarten through grade 12 classrooms, is a partner with’s Foundation. Together, they have announced a new science, technology, engineering, arts and mathematics (STEAM) initiative featuring NASA missions such as Curiosity.

The song, that was received by NASA’s Deep Space Network, was inspired by’s passion for science, technology and space exploration.

But apparently not grammatically coherent press release drafting, which doesn’t get enough government funding these days if you ask me.

In the audience at the special NASA Jet Propulsion Laboratory (JPL) event were 53 high school students from the College Track Center in Boyle Heights, East Los Angeles—the neighborhood where grew up.

Of course he has a track center called

“Today is about inspiring young people to lead a life without limits placed on their potential and to pursue collaboration between humanity and technology through STEAM education. I know my purpose is to inspire young people, because they will keep inspiring me back,” said in a press statement.


You might also want to check out the song below, which features, I kid you not, Lil John barking about a party  in space or some shit, because that’s the type of image we want to project to the universe. I like the part in the song where william, whose name I’m not putting the periods into for the remainder of this post, felt like he had to really sell the serious space-ness of the song. Chanting Moon Men from the future and shit. Laser beams. Quasars, son.


Follow Luke O’Neil on Twitter.

(image via)