November 27, 2012

Two And a Half Men, the curly chest-haired cultural nadir of laugh-tracked boner jokes has driven another one of its stars crazy. There are only two directions for a celebrity to turn to in the midst of a meltdown, and since one extreme was already taken by Charlie Sheen, Angus T. Young, aka the O.G. “Half Man” before Peter Dinklage assumed that moniker on Game of Thrones, has cast his lot with a force even more intoxicating and damaging than coke and pussy: Jesus Christ.

In an interview with something called Forerunner Chronicles, (via HuffPo) Jones called the show that made him the highest paid child actor in history (earning $300k an episode and some presumably kick-ass employee benefits), “filth” and urged people to stop watching it. Haha, joke is on you though, T. Jones, because I already don’t. Do I get to go to Heaven now?

“If you watch ‘Two and a Half Men,’ please stop watching ‘Two and a Half Men,’” Jones says around the 7:45 mark in the video below, which the website billed as “The Testimony of the Awakening of [a] star.” “I’m on ‘Two and a Half Men,’ and I don’t want to be on it. Please stop watching it, please stop filling your head with filth,” he continues.

“People say it’s just entertainment,” he said. “Do some research on the effects of television and your brain, and I promise you, you’ll have a decision to make when it comes to television, especially with what you watch on television. It’s bad news.”

And then he says all sorts of other things, presumably, like announcing his new project, a faith-based sit-com called “The Father, the Son, and half the Holy Ghost.” I can’t say for sure because no way I’m watching that video. If I wanted to listen to a rich hypocrite talk about the power of Jesus while sitting on a pile of money I’d go hang out with all of your Republican grandparents.

Follow Luke O’Neil on Twitter.

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