Culture

Twitter Analytics Reveal How Much of a Cool Guy/Loser You Are

Culture

Twitter Analytics Reveal How Much of a Cool Guy/Loser You Are

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Confident about your value of your Tweets to the world at large? It’s time to put that confidence to the test with Twitter Analytics, a new app that analyzes the output of your Twitter account and summarizes how much people care about you and the things you say in one damning spreadsheet. Go here, input your Twitter name and password, click on the Analytics tab at the top to bypass all the stuff about setting up advertising (lol, who has enough followers for that to matter) and see exactly how many faves, reblogs, replies and clicks have been bestowed upon your precious thoughts. Exactly how much of an appealing human being or abject loser you are is revealed in those metrics, which upon logging in begin to aggregate in real-time along with the number of people unfollowing you at any moment.

Terrifying, huh? It’s not all damning, though. It looks like all of the hit totals on the links you send out default to 0—or at least I think they do, because I know people have clicked on some of the links I’ve sent out. I hope, at least; maybe I’m Tweeting into the void, as is everyone else who thinks their vast mental interior is eminently clickable. When you stare into the social analytics, the social analytics stare back into you.