Chris Christie, a man who is definitely, 100% not being held captive by Donald Trump, has it pretty bad. For one, he has to spend all that time standing near Trump, being affiliated to Trump and looking at Trump. He has to give his money to Trump and publically support Trump. He may or may not have free will. But there is one thing we can be sure that Christie does not have: Oreos.
Just when you thought things couldn’t get any worse for Christie, Trump took away the poor man’s Oreos.
At a rally in New Jersey last night, Trump ripped on Nabisco for moving its plant to Mexico and restated his vow not to eat its delicious, cream-filled cookies. Then, he points a fake-tanned finger in the direction of Christie and proclaims, “You’re not eating Oreos anymore. No more Oreos for either of us, Chris. Don’t feel bad.”
I feel bad. I feel very bad. Someone please rescue this guy, the situation just got dire.