Unless you’re someone who judges the quality of a movie based entirely on the number of explosions it contains, then you probably don’t think the Transporter movies are “good,” but they’re still rendered watchable by the charm of Jason Statham’s stony visage and recessed hairline. Enter Cinemax (which, whoa, that still exists?), to attempt to profit on that series’ popularity while removing its key strength. With Statham probably totally unwilling to go within 10-feet of this thing, British actor Chris Vance stars in the title role of the TV adaptation, because who can tell the difference between two people with a British accent? As you can see from the trailer, Vance gets into all kind of intrigue in the business of transporting stuff and even around the 1:55 mark seems to land in a situation that bears some resemblance to the plot of Crank. All in all, this looks like it’s probably crummy enough to make you long for the days of quality programming like V.I.P. Clearly Cinemax never got the memo about cable now being the home of exceptional TV.