Culture

Topless Photos of Kate Middleton Are Published, World Grinds to Halt

Culture

Topless Photos of Kate Middleton Are Published, World Grinds to Halt

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Remember that expression “royal boob”—as in, “You’re being a royal boob right now”? Nobody says that any more. Except for maybe Kate Middleton when she’s sunbathing and looking for something more interesting to talk to than William. Wait, women talk to their own boobs,right? Or have I been operating under a woefully mistaken premise this whole time?

Well, good news for crown fetishists and middle-aged guys who vacation at Disney World alone, because topless photos have emerged of the Duchess Catherine of Cambridge. The photos were published by French gossip magazine Closer, who tittered in captions like, “People always say she doesn’t need to dress up to look good. Well… Kate is proving this.”

Naturally, the royal family isn’t happy.

“Their Royal Highnesses had every expectation of privacy in the remote house. It is unthinkable that anyone should take such photographs, let alone publish them,” a St. James’s Palace official in London said. “The incident is reminiscent of the worst excesses of the press and paparazzi during the life of Diana, Princess of Wales, and all the more upsetting to the Duke and Duchess for being so.” WP

None of the major British tabloids decided to publish the pictures, which is literally the first classy move any of those chaps have ever made, especially considering they had such a field day with Prince Harry’s royal scepter last month.

We’re all next in line for the throne today, if you get me there (penis-wise).

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