This isn’t exactly a — how to put this? — sporty crowd here at Bullett (see the last few posts about New York Fashion Week for evidence of where our general sympathies lie). But if there’s one area where the world of fashion and sports overlap it’s in the dreamy boner-inducing orbit of New England Patriots quarterback, aka Mr. Gisele Bundchen, Tom Brady’s face. (Brady himself is no slouch in the fashion modelling department, as you may know). And it’s all because of dat face, right? I’m about as straight a dude as they come (skinny jeans-wearing division) and I’d push my own mother into a pit of lava for a sniff of that perfectly designed mixed-media sculpture of fleshy wonder.
So while you’re probably not interested in hearing about rooking Redskins quarterback Robert Griffin III’s stunning debut and defeat of the favored New Orleans Saints, or, even more impressive, the Jets’ Mark Sanchez — himself no slouch vis a vis the pants-tightening game – somehow managing not to trip and fall onto a series of comically-positioned cartoon rakes strewn across the field — and posting the teams highest point total ever in a victory over the Buffalo Bills, (fun fact: they’re from the state of New York too!), you may be interested to know that Mr. Brady took what may have been the most devastating blow of his career since the 2008 season which he missed to a knee injury. In the second quarter of the game he took a knee to the face, bloodying, and possibly breaking, his nose — his perfect, perfect nose.
NOT THE FACE. NOT THE FACE.
Brady, sporting the most fashionable face bandage since that whole weird period of collective psychosis we went through with that Nellie thing, was asked after the game whether or not he had broken his nose.
“I don’t know,” he said.
I don’t know either, buddy, and it’s kind of killing me right now. The fashion and sports communities will be collectively holding our breath commiserating in the hours to come as more news becomes available. Needless to say, if Brady’s nose is ruined, there’s really no point in going on. Cancel the NFL. Cancel fashion, because, as Auden said “The stars are not wanted now: put out every one; /Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun; / Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood. /For nothing now can ever come to any good.”
That said, this is still only the second most traumatizing time a beloved Brady has had their nose broken.