INSTAGRAM NOW OWNS YOUR SOUL
Congratulations are in order to the NRA and the gun advocates of the world for somehow engineering the genius coup of siphoning off all of the internet’s ire by convincing Instagram to announce that they would maybe, potentially, some day, possibly, use one of your #nofilter #selfies in an advertisement that some company would want for some reason. You’ll be aware of this fact by outraged posts from the same friends who shared that phoney legalese Facebook disclaimer a couple of weeks ago whining about it all day. Here’s a #selfie of me above that any companies out there looking to advertise rugged masculinity and/or the effects of cigarette smoking on aging can feel free to use. JUST DON’T DO SOMETHING LIKE THIS.
WILL BEN AFFLECK RUN FOR SENATE IN MASSACHUSETTS?
Now that it seems likely that John Kerry will be appointed Secretary of State, some people are speculating that a certain Cantabrigian “might be” hypothetically considering a run for the empty spot. Many are asking if Ben Affleck “Will run for Senate in Massachusetts?” And the answer to that question is no, don’t be fucking stupid.
THE INTERNET KILLED THOSE KIDS
And you thought it was going to be harder to trump Mike Huckabee blaming the Newtown shooting on godless heathens that have overtaken the country. (Over 90% of Americans believe in God, by the way). “We ask why there is violence in our schools, but we have systematically removed God from our schools,” Huckabee said. “Should we be so surprised that schools would become a place of carnage?” But then along came Bill O’Reilly, professional news man, to break things down for us with a calm, steadying hand.
“I pretty much knew a few things about Lanza. Number one: that he was deeply angry. Number two: that he was alienated from most other human beings. Number three: that most likely he was deeply involved with the Internet.”
I’M A FUCKING IDIOT
Reacting to news that the Kraft family, owners of the New England Patriots, who also own a factory in Newtown, CT, were going to donate $25,000 to the town, I wrote an extremely angry and reactionary piece detailing all of the ways in which Kraft Food Inc., an evil global behemoth that has nothing to do with the Kraft Group, have supported the NRA in the past, calling them hypocrites and charlatans. I sure fucked that one up.
VICTORIA’S SECRET SUPPORTS RAPE CULTURE
More or less. Or at least they don’t want a group trying to hack their brand of cutesy rape culture panties to interfere with the bottom line, pun moderately intended.
FORCE: Upsetting Rape Culture, which parodied the “Sure Thing” and “Unwrap Me” underwear that Victoria’s Secret sells to high-school students with its PINK line, replacing the slogans with phrases like “Ask First” and “Respect.” Victoria’s Secret used takedown notices to get FORCE’s web-host to shut down its site, to get Twitter to yank the FORCE’s @LoveConsent account, shutting down the dialogue about consent and rape just as it was gaining momentum…Boing Boing
EASY-BAKING ISN’T JUST FOR GIRLS
Hasbro, (more like “Ha’s, bro”) makers of the Easy Bake Oven, have announced that they are going to make a gender neutral version of the toy, after a campaign by a New Jersey girl on Change.org who protested the inherent sexism of pink stoves. This happened in the year 2012. Somewhat related question: if we’re constantly teaching young girls that they’re supposed to cook, why is the restaurant industry still dominated by men?