There’s a new meme in town kids, and it’s based around the wacky antics of Aaron Hernandez, the former New England Patriots star accused of executing his friend in cold blood and then engaging in one of the most hapless attempts at covering up the crime in the history of both crimes and haplessness. Naturally, it’s a bit of a hoot, the whole thing, having everything we look for in a joke: a richly talented 23 year old millionaire and new father at the outset of a promising career who (allegedly) drove a presumably terrified human being into the woods and proceeded to push bullets through his flesh with a machine designed to end lives. LOL. Here’s a few of the best example of this crazy gag via Buzzfeed.
The one time (a week ago) sports hero and inspiration to millions, “drove the victim to the remote spot, and he then orchestrated his execution. That’s what it was,” William McCauley, District Attorney in charge of the case against Hernandez said.
As Odin Lloyd, the man who is now dead, “tried to turn, he was shot in the back, and the defendant and his confederates stood over him and delivered the two fatal shots,” McCauley said. “He orchestrated the crime from the beginning and took steps to conceal and destroy evidence.”
“Lloyd was shot five times in a North Attleborough industrial park not far from Hernandez’s home. He raised his arm as he lay on the ground, in a desperate attempt to fend off the bullets…” (via)
“Along the way, Lloyd alerted relatives in a text message, asking them, “Did you see who I am with?” After they asked who, he replied cryptically, “NFL,” the prosecutor said.
“Just so you know,’’ Lloyd added. It was the last text message he sent before he died, McCauley said.” (via)
“The prosecutor says the group stopped at a gas station to pick up ‘blue cotton candy Bubblicious gum and Black & Mild cigars, which are used as rolling papers for marijuana.'” (via)