“OUT WITH A FRIEND AT A BAR, GRAHAM WISHED HE COULD ORDER WINE, BUT DIDN’T WANT A ‘SAUVIGNON BLANC’ OR ‘PINOT’ IN STEMWARE WHEN HIS FRIEND HAD A CAN OF BEER” reads the introductory story on MANCAN Wine’s website (in all caps, so you know it’s tough). Of course not, stemware is for women, as everyone knows, and women are gross. “HE BOUGHT MANCANWINE.COM THAT NIGHT.” If you’re thinking Graham sounds like an insecure baby trying to overcompensate for something, and that MANCAN sounds like a gay porn site, you’re right.
It only gets worse.
“GRAHAM, HIS WIFE MARIKA…” (mhmm) “AND HIS CHILDHOOD FRIEND FISK DECIDE TO GO FOR IT. THEY SOURCE THEIR GRAPES IN CALIFORNIA TO MAKE SURE THEY’RE GETTING THE BEST PRODUCT. MARIKA ALSO GREW UP IN CALIFORNIA, SO THEY CAN CRASH WITH HER PARENTS DURING PRODUCTION.”
Crashing with Marika’s parents sounds like a euphemism for something but I’m not sure what.
Here, let’s watch the video:
“Thought up by a guy who lives in an old fire house, walks to work with his dog, has two bikes and a trike, and wanted to move beyond stemware.” That’s pretty much a construction worker away from the Village People right there. “At MANCAN we believe wine is for drinking not pairing, and our notes are more rock than classical. Crush one at the game, throw one in your back pocket on a camping trip, or pop one open at your favorite dive bar.”
Yes, do that at a dive bar.
“We know our wine tastes great, we just don’t expect you to talk about the aromas.”
Yes, it’s generally considered in poor taste to talk about the aromas.