Music

The White Stripes Aren’t Reuniting, Ever

Music

The White Stripes Aren’t Reuniting, Ever

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Putting the band back together has forever been the thing to do for aging musicians, from the Monkees to Pavement and beyond. Who could resist the allure of a few big paychecks and the chance to recapture one’s former glory? Jack White, apparently. Speaking to the NME, the former White Stripes singer said he can’t ever see a time when he’ll get back together with sister/wife Meg for a revival of their revivalist rock group. “I would probably say absolutely not. Absolutely no chance. I couldn’t see any reason to ever do that,” he said. “I’m not the kind of person that would retire from baseball and come out of retirement the next year. I mean, if we went to all the trouble of telling people we’re done, we meant it you know?”

“If we were forced to change our mind about that, I can only imagine the reason being if we went bankrupt or really needed the cash, which would be a really sad thing,” he went on. “I would probably be issuing an apology along with the announcement of the show dates.” It’s pretty sad to imagine that memo being written, but hell, the band only broke up last year. There’s plenty of time left for an obsessed fan to concoct a Ponzi scheme with which to defraud White out of all of his hard-earned money, thus creating the need for a reunion tour. Or maybe he’ll end up blowing the money himself on colored vinyl to press at his Third Man Records outfit, because why stick with black when you could have the rainbow?

White has a new solo album called Blunderbuss coming out on April 24, if you hadn’t heard, which is what’s taking up most of his time. If he’s got more rippers like “Sixteen Saltines” stuck in his craw then we probably won’t ever need a White Stripes reunion, especially since White hasn’t been shy about playing his old band’s songs at his new gigs.