While you were unwrapping your selfie sticks (thanks, Aunt Debbie) or eating Chinese food, the greatest gifts of all were being uploaded to Soundcloud. And though these tunes aren’t exactly full of Christmas cheer they’re Christmas appropriate nonetheless. Yes, for some the holidays are about spending time with family and love ones, but for many of us they’re a time to feel super bummed out and alone. Am I right?
So light some scented candles, grab the Kleenex and listen to these super sad songs released this Christmas.
“Low Life” – Future + The Weeknd
Like most Weeknd tracks, this dark tune is about doing drugs and putting his dick in the nearest vagina. Future peppers in talk of purposefully getting bitches wasted and cheating on his girl (don’t worry, by the end of the verse his “baby mama” and his “side bitch” are kissing). Just another wholesome family Christmas y’all!
Pass Dat (The Weeknd Remix) – Jeremih + The Weeknd
“Christmas Will Break Your Heart” – LCD Soundsystem
That’s right, LCD Soundsystem is back and sadder than ever with “Christmas Will Break Your Heart.” So much for DFA insiders aggressively shutting down those reunion rumors… Unless this is just an attempt to make us even more bummed out about the harsh truth that these folks will never go on tour again. James Murphy describes the tune as “this depressing Christmas song I’d been singing to myself for the past eight years.” Sweet.
“Spectre” – Radiohead
Once upon a time Radiohead was tapped to make a Bond theme song. Can you guess which film it was for?! Anyway, Sam Smith was ultimately granted the honor (probably a British thing), but lucky for us the band decided to go ahead and release it anyway. This one might not induce waterworks, but it will make you gaze melancholically out the window and reflect on your own existence.
“My Sad Christmas Song” – Miley Cyrus
Did any musician enjoy Christmas this year? Miley Cyrus’ depressing holiday tune speaks to missing an old flame during the holidays (some suspect it’s about a certain Hunger Games star, but who’s to say?). In typical Miley fashion, she drowns her sorrows in bong hits.
Merry Christmas y’all! Hope yours was better than Miley’s.