February 4, 2013

Hey, remember when Mitt Romney sincerely believed he was going to be the President of the United States, but didn’t really get that close to winning? Fun times. Unfortunately, American voters may not have dealt the Romney clan a solid enough defeat, as they’re apparently still milling about the political landscape and waiting for their eminent return. Reports have emerged that Tagg Romney—the son who said he wanted to “take a swing” at President Obama during his father’s hilariously abortive presidential campaign—is considering running in the special Senate election for the Massachusetts seat being vacated by John Kerry, who was recently confirmed as Secretary of State.

Now, it’s important to note that the elder Romney lost Massachusetts—the state where he’d previously been governor–by 23 points, which is fairly pathetic; I mean, even Al Gore managed to pick up 47% of red-assed Tennessee back in 2000. On the other hand, the Romney name carries some kind of national recognition, and Tagg is quite handsome. He’s only 42 years old! Such handsome genes don’t come with every family. On the other other hand, enemies will be foaming at the mouth to overturn a dumpster of shit on his reputation; ThinkProgress already jumped the gun by relinking to a report they did in November 2011 about how Tagg partnered up with the perpetrators of a Ponzi scheme. Either way, it seems like we might be in for another lifetime of Romney robots aspiring toward higher power, which is just the luck of SNL writers from now until death.

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