Culture

The Only Thing Americans Think About More Than Sex

Culture

The Only Thing Americans Think About More Than Sex

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If there’s one thing that the overwhelming success of EL James’ Fifty Shades of Grey has hammered home for us, like a persistently plunging oil-derrick of a man, back and forth, until it finds the sweet spot with missile-like precision, it’s that middle aged Americans really like to think about sex. The first book in the series alone has wracked up some 40 million sales in a little over a year. But if there’s one thing that America’s boring people think about even more than sex it’s Osama Bin Laden. Also hamburgers where the bun is a doughnut and the burger is really a giant slab of bacon encasing another, smaller, cheese-filled burger. But mostly the Bin Laden thing. (Bin Laden’s niece Wafa Dufour pictured above instead of her uncle, for obvious reasons).

That may explain why the new controversial book No Easy Day: The Firsthand Account of the Mission That Killed Osama Bin Laden, by Navy SEAL Matt Bissonnette writing under the name Mark Owen, has crawled on top of Fifty Shades and shown it who’s in charge around here, firmly, but gently pushing its head into the pillow, and rolling it over to expose its hungry sex. Or you could say it’s just going to shoot it in the fucking head. Either way, it’s leaped to the top of the charts on Amazon on its first day of release.

The book, which tells the story of the mission that took out American’s #1 enemy and fetish object, has been threatened with legal action by the Pentagon for revealing sensitive information. Also revealing sensitive information: your mom, when overheard talking about how much she enjoyed Fifty Shades of Grey with your sister.

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