Until now I thought the McDonald’s Gold Card, which allows its carrier to eat free McDonald’s, was a thing of my wildest dreams, but then yesterday on Jimmy Kimmel Rob Lowe revealed he’s got one. What else aren’t they telling us?!
Cheekily dubbed “The McGold Card,” this fantasy item looks as glorious as one might imagine. Emblazoned on the gold plastic are the words: “This card entitles Rob free food for himself for one year.” Wait a minute… there are caveats? Apparently. Not only does The McGold Card expire, it’s only valid at a handful of locations (Lowe’s works at all Santa Barbara or Goleta locations). Pretty baller that it only says his first name, but what’s to stop an imposter Rob from using the card?
Anyway, what’s cooler than the fact that Lowe could OD on McDick’s for free at his leisure is the reason why he has the card in the first place: his friend’s dad invented the Egg McMuffin (he also invented Ronald McDonald, which is less of a noteworthy achievement. That clown always freaked me out. Now Grimace! I can get down with Grimace). One billion thanks to Lowe’s friend’s father for giving us the greatest breakfast invention of all time.
Other McGold carriers are, allegedly, Bill Gates and Warren Buffet. Meanwhile, I’m trying to hunt down the son of the fellow who invented the Big Mac, befriend him, and get a McGold card of my own.