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The Government’s Terrifying Fireworks Safety Video Will Ruin Your Fourth of July

News

The Government’s Terrifying Fireworks Safety Video Will Ruin Your Fourth of July

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Fourth of July: the holiday in which Americans celebrate America by blowing up a tiny part of it!

Fireworks have long since been a key ingredient of July 4th celebrations (along with meat, beer and American flag string bikinis), but beware, for fireworks can blow the limbs and heads off of mannequins. Just watch this horrifying video released by the Consumer Product Safety Commission, which depicts just how dangerous these legal explosives really are. Warning: The bit with the child mannequins holding the sparklers will haunt your dreams.

But all jokes aside, as the video reminds us, July 4th is the “deadliest time of year.” I won’t ruin your holiday weekend with the sobering statistics, but as the video warns us, “injuries are down but deaths are up.”

So stay safe folks! And have a lovely, meat-filled weekend.

Listen to VIGILETTI’s Bullett exclusive 4th of July Mix.