People

The Dumbest Gifts From Gwyneth Paltrow’s Goop Gift Guide

People

The Dumbest Gifts From Gwyneth Paltrow’s Goop Gift Guide

+

Christmas is almost upon us (kind of) and you know what that means: Gwyneth Paltrow’s totally ridiculous Goop gift guide has arrived! Gwennie has clearly become aware of the world’s impression of her (frigid, out of touch etc.) because she’s thrown in the odd thrifty item (a Zara tshirt here, a shitty lip gloss there), but there’s still plenty of unnecessary, unaffordable swag perfect for the 1%.

And since nothing puts us in the holiday spirit quite like looking at a bunch of gifts we could never afford, here are some of our favorites.

 

ElectricLove Pacha Series Dreamcatcher 

e27edba0a7fc5ec4092b1717a6c1b5ef

You know when an item is listed as “Price Upon Request” that it is outlandishly expensive. At least the recipient’s bad dreams about their second mortgage and various gift purchasing money woes will be caught and discarded.

Consciously Uncoupled Keychain

crimson_white_2826528b-3c69-4565-bd92-fb6b956eb008_large

$15. While this gift is affordable, the emotional cost is high.

Ivan Baj Ruby Gem Vase

1395049-arcade-avec-ruby-gemme-vase-a

$2,900. Makes a great stocking stuffer.

Saint Laurent Monogrammed Suitcase

45235885MA_13_f

$3,990. Just monogram “Rich AF” or “Daddy’s Little Girl” and call it a day.

Seinnheiser Orpheus Headphones

original

$55,000. You are getting SO laid for these.

Custom Photographs of your Memorabilia by Hippopota

HIPO01-4

$1,200. Because once you have a bunch of expensive shit, you might as well get overpriced custom photographs of it.