Yes it’s a schlocky holiday—a day created by man to sell all things pink and red. But what the hell, we ran with it. At The Bullett V-Day Gift Guide, you’ll find all your gifting needs, whether self-serving or group-gratifying. Stay tame but tasteful with Eddie Borgo’s high-chroma lotus cone bracelet or get to ego stroking with your very own Clone-a-Willy kit. Whatever tactic you choose this Valentines day—eating, vamping or copulating—we’ve got the goods to get you there.