Culture

That Was Quick: Kate Middleton Already Suing Over Topless Pictures

Culture

That Was Quick: Kate Middleton Already Suing Over Topless Pictures

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Sack up, perverts, because the topless photos of Kate Middleton you’ve been salivating over all morning might not be long for this internet. The offended Middleton and her husband, Prince William, have already filed a lawsuit against France’s Closer magazine, who released the photos despite the overwhelming common sense that might prevent one from doing so, such as the incontrovertible law stating that when a royal is mad at you, you’re going to jail.

A representative for St. James’s Palace released a statement saying that “legal proceedings for breach of privacy have been commenced today in France” without offering further clarification, but again, that law: an elite is angry, and now heads will roll. Terrifying! The editor of Closer also defended the publication of the photos, saying “What we saw in the pictures was a young couple that have just married, who are in love, who are beautiful.” That’s a nice way to phrase the only fact that meant anything to the yawning, lust-driven collective internet impulse: ROYAL TITS. You should all be disgusted with yourselves for being tantalized by such pictures. We’ll see where this goes, if anywhere.