SXSW is coming up next month, and, like every other single year before, I’m still pretending like I’m not going to go before inevitably relenting and booking a last minute ticket and a $10,000 a night hotel room. Also making its illustrious annual return in the past month or so is the Twitter account @SXSWPartyzzzz, which is serving as a perfect reminder of why I don’t want to go in the first place. Here are a few of the best.
Uber is going to host a free happy hour until a lot of people show up and then charge $60 a drink! RSVP by having a True Detective theory!
— SXSW Partyzzzzz (@SXSWPartyzzzzz) February 24, 2014
#SXSW party tip: There’s a line.
— SXSW Partyzzzzz (@SXSWPartyzzzzz) February 21, 2014
Mark Zuckerberg will be shooting a money cannon at whoever 3D prints a Facebook user! RSVP by googling whether it’s OK to like Macklemore!
— SXSW Partyzzzzz (@SXSWPartyzzzzz) February 20, 2014
Bill Clinton’s Lululemon yoga pants party is almost at capacity!! RSVP by using “mindful living” and “digital age” in a horrible sentence!!
— SXSW Partyzzzzz (@SXSWPartyzzzzz) February 19, 2014
Russell Crowe and Slim Thug will be bartending at SeaWorld’s apology party! RSVP by making a stranger look at pics from your half-marathon!!
— SXSW Partyzzzzz (@SXSWPartyzzzzz) February 17, 2014