Culture

Sweaty King James Will Never Be A Royal

Culture

Sweaty King James Will Never Be A Royal

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For the first time in his career, LeBron James has the attention of the British Press. No, not because he was the most high profile player to don an “I Can’t Breathe” shirt during warm ups. Apparently St. Vincent’s High School in Akron, OH—James’ alma mater—didn’t have proper etiquette classes offered during his tenure, because Bron-Bron forgot to curtsey when he met Prince William and Duchess Kate. Even worse, he touched her and he was sweaty.

White people were in an uproar, repeatedly harping on how sweaty he was, with the Daily Mail UK mentioning it five times and enlisting etiquette expert William Hanson to comment. (Please read this quote in a verrrry gentlemanly British accent.)

“A shower would have been preferable but he had just finished a game – so even more reason for him not have opened his pits by lifting his arm and placing it around Her Royal Highness!”

Of course it’s NBD that Prince Billy and the four strands of hair he has left on the top of his head put his hands on Dikembe Mutombo while “Av’ing a laugh.” And Dike didn’t respond with his signature two foot long, waving index finger, but he’s just a serf, so he was probably just happy to be around such a fabulously royal couple. Americans actually thought it was awesome that such royal man touched a commoner.

I guess sweaty ass LeBron touching a royal is very important to the Brits and it should be. These two didn’t spend their life their lives being rich and awesome to have some tall black guy who bounces a ball for a living touch them. Ew. And cops shooting unarmed people isn’t really on the British radar, because their cops can’t, as this piece on Vox reminds us. However, sweaty black people touching royalty is a really big deal, like a 2,343 comment big deal and counting. You can read them all here  or just peep these highlights below.

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