Culture

The ‘Suicide Squad’ Soundtrack is Almost as Bad as Coachella and Anyone Who Buys It is a Loser

Culture

The ‘Suicide Squad’ Soundtrack is Almost as Bad as Coachella and Anyone Who Buys It is a Loser

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The early reviews are in for Suicide Squad and the consensus is not good. As of now, it only earns 34% on Rotten Tomatoes, a fact that has caused one man to launch an unsuccessful protest, urging the site to be shut down.

The film’s soundtrack is stacked with tried and true superstars and hip fan favorites, handpicked to capture the widest audience possible—pretty well the exact same formula applied to the world’s shittiest event, Coachella, but without the implied drug usage and flower crowns (that’s why I tucked that “almost” up there in the title; as our very own Luke O’Neil explained way back when in what is still my favorite Internet article ever written, nothing is worse than Coachella).

In addition to the tunes already released by Skrillex and Rick Ross (“Purple Lamborghini”), The Black Keys’ Dan Auerbach (“Standing in the Rain”), Action Bronson, Mark Ronson, and Kehlani (“Gangsta”) and Grimes (“Medieval Warfare”) the soundtrack also includes Eminem, Lil Wayne, Wiz Khalifa, Kevin Gates, Imagine Dragons and Ty Dolla $ign. Tack on the hologram of a deceased legend or some retired rock geezers in need of quick cash and you have yourself a festival lineup.

Judging by the songs that have already been released, the album as a whole will be an incoherent, inconsistent piece of garbage with moments of okayness. I mean, the Grimes track, released today, is still a Grimes track, but it’s a lackluster one at best.

Needless to say, the album’s star power overkill and lack of direction mirrors the movie it accompanies, and they’re both going to make a shit ton of money and people are gonna eat all this crap up and become dumber and fatter and more mindless and more fat and more lazy and even fatter. And people are gonna keep making movies and soundtracks and festivals that are just senseless piles of consumer-friendly garbage and people are gonna keep spending their hard earned dollars consuming it, just trying to dull the mundane crappiness that is their fat, lazy lives.

I’m not going to read the comments section, so do your worst.