The star-studded, star-jammed, star-packed, star-bloated like you had one too many stars before bed and you woke up feeling full of stars lineup for the Concert For Sandy Relief has been announced for December 12 at Madison Square Garden. Are you ready for this? Paul McCartney, Kanye West, The Who, Roger Waters, Billy Joel, Bruce Springsteen, Alicia Keys, Bon Jovi, and “many more” will come together to raise money for the Robin Hood Relief Fund.
Normally I’d have a few low-hanging jokes to knock off the ripe tree of snark for a show like this, but it’s obviously an important cause, so I’ll refrain today. You, on the other hand, you aren’t as noble as I am, so here are a few modest suggestions for things you can complain and joke about on your personally branded social media outlets:
1) The ticket prices. How about those ticket prices? Who am I, Bruce Springsteen that I can afford these tickets? How much are tickets anyway?
2) How old everyone on the bill is. Old people are weird!
3) Whatever giant corporate concerns out there it is always trying to make Alicia Keys happen.
4) Literally anything to do with Billy Joel.
5) New Jersey in general. How about that one state New Jersey? Talk about a state that’s easy to joke about!
6) Some sort of Roger Waters pun. Got to be something to work with in there.
7) Kanye West’s ego vis a vis natural disasters, size and scope and power and so forth.
8) Tidal waves of ocean water and muck swallowing up people’s homes and washing their lives away into nothingness.
9) Whatever horrible Beatles cover McCartney is going to rope everyone into doing by the end of this thing.
10) Guy Fieri? Any meat left on those bones? High degree of difficulty, but there’s probably a creative way to effect meme synergy here in the jumble of the internet culture news cycle that will show off your prowess.