People

Stop What You’re Doing and Look At Kendall Jenner’s Hideous $52,000 Couch

People

Stop What You’re Doing and Look At Kendall Jenner’s Hideous $52,000 Couch

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When I turned 21, I bought myself a beer, but not Kendall Jenner, no no no. Jenner, who turns the big 2-1 tomorrow bought herself this hideous $52,000 couch:

Apparently it was just the thing she needed to pull her space together. As she stated on her app:

“Recently, I realized I’d been really good and came in way under budget on my furniture allowance. I got super excited and bought another amazing couch. One day, I just had a vision about the entry room and knew exactly what it needed. As soon as I saw the couch, I fell in love. The ‘Boa’ by Edra couch is all woven and a really groovy navy with purple shimmer. It works perfectly in the space! I still have a long way to go, but am having so much fun along the way!”

Under budget?! WHAT WAS THE BUDGET?!

I know what you’re thinking: no couch on earth could be worth that much money. Well, this monstrosity isn’t just any old couch, it’s a goddamn experience. Here is how “The Boa” by Edra is described on their website:

“It is a large woven nest. A soft embrace. An invitation to explore different positions lying between its pillows. You can sit on it, lie down or curl up. With no frame, it consists of 120 meters of tube filled with flexible and breathable polyurethane with a touch of goose feather. It is covered with velvet, which gives it a peculiar brightness.”

Peculiar indeed. One would think that with all the money Edra is making selling hideous couches they would be able to afford a half-decent copywriter. Hey Edra, if you’re reading this, I’m avail.

But wait, there’s more:

“Each sofa requires four tubes of thirty meters each, filled and covered by hand. Four people work simultaneously and in synchrony for more than a week. Two full days are dedicated to the final weaving.”

And then it’s washed in the tears of a thousand virgins and hand-delivered to your home by a dozen silent monks. Namaste.