Artwork: Sophie Rose Brampton
Welcome to Sex With Stoya, the advice column in which you get the v rare opportunity to ask actress, writer, oh and adult film superstar, Stoya, your deepest, darkest, most ‘I can’t believe I’m even admitting this’ questions about love and sex. No topic is too personal, vulgar or embarrassing, but do know that our girl is going to hit you with some goddamn truth. This is definitely no Dear Abby.
I consider myself a modern guy who’s adventurous, but recently encountered something that squicked me out. I was approached online for a hook up by someone with a “Prince Albert” hoop that was gloriously impressive, but terrified me at the same time. How does one practice safe sex with such a thing? Would it shred a condom? What would it do to an anus? He mentioned he could take it out, but that sounds just as unsafe with a literal hole in his appendage. I feel bad being so squeamish but—what’s the rule of thumb for casual sex with pierced appendages that can go inside you?
Feeling squeamish about risk factors is not only common, it’s your self-preservation instinct kicking in.
There is no such thing as safe sex, only safer sex. The safest thing a person can do is engage in total abstinence from anything that involves skin-to-skin contact or fluid exchange. The only other options are mitigation of risk.
Top level mitigation would be to start taking pre-exposure prophylaxis, or PREP, engage in regular testing after sexual encounters, and use barriers for any genital-to-genital or genital-to-oral contact.
PREP does carry a risk of side effects, only works against HIV infection, and can be hella expensive. And remember, Hepatitis, Syphilis, Gonorrhea, and Chlamydia are risks to be aware of, as well. You have to make your own choices about what you’re comfortable with in which situations.
From vaginal experience, cock piercings tend to have a rolling motion to them—like a melody to the thrusting’s bassline.
The jewelry used in genital piercings tends to be pretty smooth with rounded beads as fasteners or end caps. Some use condoms with a more spacious tip than average. I know people with genital piercings who rarely have issues with condom breakage, if ever, but that’s no guarantee.
Condoms break sometimes, even when you store them as directed, use them before their expiration date, and apply them properly—even without piercings in the mix.
You and your partners should be paying attention to the condom during sex, and should change condoms if one tears or apply more lube if there’s too much friction. Alternately, you can engage in oral sex, jerk each other off, masturbate together, or look into frottage.