Sex With Stoya: Anal Anxiety


Sex With Stoya: Anal Anxiety


Artwork: Nikki Pecasso

Welcome to Sex With Stoya, the advice column in which you get the v rare opportunity to ask actress, writer, oh and adult film superstar, Stoya, your deepest, darkest, most ‘I can’t believe I’m even admitting this’ questions about love and sex. No topic is too personal, vulgar or embarrassing, but do know that our girl is going to hit you with some goddamn truth. This is definitely no Dear Abby.


What do you do to prepare for anal sex? Or do you not prepare at all? I enjoy anal sex, but I’m also a germaphobe. I end up not having anal sex as often as I’d like because I don’t know if I need to do anything before the sex act.

There’s no way around the fact that your anus is at the very end of your digestive process. The purpose of an anus is controlling the movement of poop, with pleasure as a (delightful!) secondary function.

It’s probably best to come to terms with that before engaging in anything more intense than light anal tickling. I don’t know of any safe way to disinfect your asshole, but there are things you can do to minimize fecal contact.

The first thing you can do is, start paying attention to how your digestive system works. Learn how your body feels when your rectum is empty, and when you’re not so empty, too.

Also, get an idea of what times of day you move your bowels (so you can avoid anal before those times) and what upsets your stomach (so you can avoid surprises).

You can use enemas. Just keep in mind that the contents of disposable enemas are likely to move things along and not just rinse you out, so you’ll want to use them a few hours beforehand.

Err on the side of boil-safe toys for easy sanitization, and skip the ass to mouth.

For further information, see Tristan Taormino’s The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women.

Send your questions to and read more from Stoya, here.