“Former race-car driver Brent Magna is pitted against the clock when his wife is kidnapped by a mysterious villain. He commanders a young woman’s car and takes her on on a high-speed race against time.” That is the premise for Getaway, the Selena Gomez and Ethan Hawke vehicle (ta da!) that is currently enjoying a 1% rating on review aggregator Rotten Tomatoes. Here’s an idea of just how badly everyone involved with this thing fucked up:
The damage to your brain while watching it is incalculable. – Peter Travers, Rolling Stone
“Getaway” could have been an excellent two-minute film. – Stephanie Marry, Washington Post
It doesn’t have a plot, really. It’s more a first draft of an outline of a notion. – Colin Covert, Minneapolis Star Tribune
You get the idea. But, the movie did score a 1%, meaning that not everyone disliked it enough to give it a negative review. There was one critic who wrote, “Director Courtney Solomon makes sure the pace never flags, holding our attention with complex multi-camera coverage, and Hawke does just the tiniest bit more acting than necessary for a genre piece.” That’s not exactly effusive praise, but Norman Wilner, movie appraiser at Toronto alt weekly Now, thought Getaway was good for what it was trying to be. The review has set off a national incident up north–are Canadians being too polite?–and Wilner will be holding a press conference from the Canadian Parliament later this afternoon to address the matter. Stay tuned.