Guys, stop what you’re doing because this has to mean something: former teen dream couple Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez, AKA BieGo, AKA SeJu, both fell down onstage this week. It’s exactly like the time they fell for each other several years ago, only way more literal. And like the Selena-focused #TBTs on Bieber’s Instagram and the lyrics to the song “Sorry,” it definitely, definitely, definitely means something, or the illuminati isn’t real.
So let’s discuss these tumbles. I’ll start with Gomez, because her fall is way less hilarious:
— Selena Gomez News (@SelGomezNewsCOM) June 20, 2016
As far as onstage wipeouts go, I’ll rate this about a 6 (with Meghan Trainor’s being a 10, obvi). She handles it like a pro, joking, “First fall of the whole damn tour. Can you believe it? In Tulsa, Oklahoma?”
Gomez’s fall is understandable. She’s wearing heels. She’s dancing and running around. The very fact that female pop stars don’t fall down more often blows my mind. Biebs’ fall in Saskatoon on the other hand…
A video posted by Perez Hilton (@theperezhilton) on
What happened here? It appears as though his mind started to wander, during which time his body wandered right off the stage. Maybe he entered a fugue state. Maybe he’s a robot and he momentarily malfunctioned (that would explain a lot, actually). Whatever the explanation, Bieber ate shit and it probably hurt.
But what does it mean? Bieber’s mishap happened first; perhaps Gomez took a sympathy fall? Was this a well-coordinated PR stunt? A mere coincidence? Who am I? What am I doing with my life? The world may never know.