When you’re a super-rich Republican billionaire, you have a lot of options for things you can buy that your average person could never dream of: a doomed deep space exploration to investigate the origins of humanity, for example, or a super fancy toilet. Most of them don’t think big picture like that though, because Republican billionaires aren’t—what’s the word—creative? Human. Human is what I meant. Instead, they spend most of their money trying to get people elected that will help them keep more of their money, like in the case of Las Vegas casino magnate Sheldon Adelson, who has said he’ll donate $100 million to Mitt Romney’s campaign to help defeat Barack Obama.
A solid use of your money, one might say, if one were a spiteful, wrinkled up fist of hate and greed. But what about thinking outside the box? Like, literally speaking, if you know what I mean.
Sarah Silverman, who we saw last election cycle convincing young Jewish people to convince their grandparents in Florida to vote for Obama or else they wouldn’t visit again in her “The Great Schlep” video, is tossing her hat back in the political arena—hat meaning vagina.
In this video (via) she’s offering Adelson something only slightly less masturbatory than a Republican presidential administration. Money may not be able to buy you access to space Jesus just yet, Sheldon old boy, but it can make you feel a lot closer to him – for like 3 seconds, anyway.