If I read even one more headline about any of the Kardashians being pregnant, I’m literally going to quit the internet. Which is why I’m quite thrilled to report breaking news that’s actually important: Cardi B has not only gone #1 on Billboard with “Bodak Yellow”––ousting “Look What You Made Me Do,” thank GOD, and simultaneously becoming the first solo female rapper to hit #1 since Lauryn Hill did in 1998––but she’s also effortlessly proclaimed her rightful title as Instagram’s #1 pettiest. And I’m dead.
Here’s your context: Azealia Banks dedicated 20 Instagram stories last night to hating on Cardi B after “Bodak Yellow” went #1 this week. She basically attributed all of Cardi’s success to her being a “fucktoy,” who “sucks dick for raps,” and has “Home Depot butt injections,” because what else do we expect from Azealia Banks at this point? The girl does voodoo in her closet and gets into fights with Russell Crowe, for fucksake.. For once though, Banks couched her hate in some actually valid talking points about the male-dominated rap industry prioritizing white and Latina women. It’s true––look at Iggy Azalea and Bhad Bhabie.
But here’s the thing: Cardi B has worked for this success for years––and she’s talented. “Bodak Yellow” went #1 because everybody fucking loves it. Including Azealia Banks! Cardi B responded to the drama by posting a video of Banks feeling herself in the club, singing every line of “Bodak Yellow,” captioning it, “One of the reasons Bodak Yellow went #1! Cuz even the HATERS love it!” This is pure internet gold. How is Trump not tweeting about it?
Honestly, even after all the weird shit she’s done and problematic things she’s said, I still love Azealia Banks––sorry. Her music is on point and she’s smart as hell. So, I don’t really mind her mania. Especially when her victims are equipped with receipts––loving you too, Cardi.