Film & TV

Please Enjoy The 10 Most Savage Reviews of The Emoji Movie

Film & TV

Please Enjoy The 10 Most Savage Reviews of The Emoji Movie

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No one expected The Emoji Movie to be good. It is the cinematic embodiment of 2017, which is to say that it’s a total disaster and we should be embarrassed that it exists. That being said, there is much joy to be derived from The Emoji Movie (which currently holds a whopping 3% on Rotten Tomatoes), not from actually watching it, but from reading the reviews. Every once in a while a film so disturbingly, irredeemably awful comes along that writers need to come up with brand new definitions for crap. My heart explodes for everyone who sat through and reviewed this film. Your heroism has not gone unnoticed.

So without further ado, here are some of the most savage quotes from reviews for The Emoji Movie. 

“The Emoji Movie is a force of insidious evil, a film that feels as if it was dashed off by an uninspired advertising executive.”
-Charles Bramesco, The Guardian 

“To add to the pain and despair of the experience, “The Emoji Movie” is preceded by a short, “Puppy,” featuring the characters from the “Hotel Transylvania” animated movies. It is also idiotic.”
-Glenn Kenny, The New York Times

“Now comes “The Emoji Movie,” a film that dares to ask “What goes on in the magical worlds contained within our cell phones?,” a notion that I do not think that anyone has ever pondered for any amount of time outside of those stuck in a focus group at Sony Animation. That is only the first of many problems with this film, a work so completely devoid of wit, style, intelligence or basic entertainment value that it makes that movie based on the Angry Birds app seem like a pure artistic statement by comparison.”
-Peter Sobczynski, RogerEbert.com

The Emoji Movie offers little in the way of eye candy that is more interesting to look at than, well, your actual phone.”
-Sandy Schaefer, Sreenrant

“And yes, there’s a poop emoji voiced by Sir Patrick Stewart, in a part whose total dialogue must surely run well under two minutes. Anyone can be bought for the right price, but not for too long.”
-Vadim Rizov, AV Club

“…it is one of the darkest, most dismaying films I have ever seen, much less one ostensibly made for children.”
-Emily Yoshida, Vulture

“The two voice leads are TJ Miller and James Corden. TJ MILLER AND JAMES CORDEN, TALKING FOR AN ENTIRE MOVIE.”
-Josh Dickey, Mashable

“Where “Toy Story” encouraged kids to use their imaginations, “The Emoji Movie” only encourages them to use their parents’ credit card.”
-David Ehrlich, IndieWire

“It’s truly just “Intellectual Property: The Movie.” If we’re laughing at simple brand recognition, then yes, it’s true, words aren’t cool anymore, and smartphones have made us dumb.”
-Katie Walsh, LA Times

But, perhaps, it’s best summed up here:

“No matter how bad you expected The Emoji Movie to be, believe me when I tell you, from the bottom of my heart, that it is so much worse.”
-Rebecca Pahle, Pajiba