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Please Don’t Let Bill Clinton Choose His White House Title

News

Please Don’t Let Bill Clinton Choose His White House Title

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Guys, there is one very, very crucial thing we have neglected to discuss in the wacky, terrifying universe that is this election: what do we call Bill Clinton if Hillary is elected? It’s a quandary we’ve never had to face before, and, as it could very well set a precedent, it isn’t to be taken lightly.

First Man? Too obvious. First Guy? Too informal. First Dude? Too frat house. First Fella? Too old-timey. First Bloke? Too British. I’ve gotta say, it’s a toughie.

Fortunately I can stop now because Bill has an answer… Unfortunately it sounds just as silly as my above suggestions. According to Chelsea Clinton, Dad would like to be called “First Laddy.”

“He likes to harken back to his Irish roots so I think he’d love to be called to be called ‘First Laddy,’” Chelsea said this morning on NBC’s Today. Chelsea, however, is voting for “First Gentleman,” which seems to be the most likely option.

Meanwhile, is “Laddy” making anyone else think of that very helpful dog Bart Simpson purchased via credit card fraud? I sure hope Bill is just as helpful around the White House.