Pippa Middleton is the Thomas Friedman of Britain, and Hates Kim K’s Butt


Pippa Middleton is the Thomas Friedman of Britain, and Hates Kim K’s Butt


Few people can write columns like The New York Times’ Thomas Friedman–tying China to North Dakota and linking it all back to Rollerblading and German sausage. He even has a book titled The Lexus And The Olive Tree. But Pippa Middleton, sister of Lady Kate, sure comes close. Unlike Friedman, who lives in America, a country that still has actual power, Pippa is writing about nothing, because the UK is basically a lame-duck state/American lackey.

She wrote tan epic piece in The Spectator this week. It opens wide in Italy:

It’s been a bumper year for white truffles in northern Italy — the best ever, according to some experts — thanks to climate change and an exceptionally wet summer.

Climate change, foreign lands–vintage Friedman. Pippa then moves on to career progression in this moment of rapid, endless change:

Anyway, I fancy myself as a bit of a wine expert now, and am contemplating taking a full diploma, described on the WSET website as ‘the stepping-stone to the Master of Wine qualification’. From party planner to sommelier — now that’s what I’d call career progression.

Next, she pulls a Friedman and magically winds up in a place where power-brokers like Dick Cheney have vacation homes:

Recently, in Jackson Hole, Wyoming, I tried my hand at western dancing. Wyoming is real cowboy country; the mountain scenery is stunning. Everyone wore cowboy boots and the men had big, non-ironic moustaches that curled upwards

Her closer kicks ass–like so many of Friedman’s–ending with a learned lesson.

No year is complete without a bottom story, and the ‘Rear of 2014’ award undoubtedly goes to Kim Kardashian, after her posterior exploded all over the internet last month. I must say that mine — though it has enjoyed fleeting fame — is not comparable. But the Kim butt story did make me pause. What is it with this American booty culture? It seems to me to be a form of obsession. Kim’s aim, apparently, was to break the internet, but I’m not sure she’s going the right way about it.

These Americans and their ‘booty culture’, my golly. Honestly, anyone who can out-Friedman Friedman is pretty fucking cool. Even if the column makes no sense and is basically a long diary entry.