Our 13 Favorite Stories From 2013


Our 13 Favorite Stories From 2013


Another year, another existential void that we tried to pump fun, engaging, and hopefully interesting content into. Looking back on some of the stories we published in 2013, we’d like to think we succeeded, hopefully.

We All Know Who Invented #GhettoGoth (Hint: It Wasn’t Rihanna)
“Rihanna’s recent adoption of #GhettoGoth is a garish illustrator of this creative shadow economy; it seems strange that anyone who spends time in NYC, wears Hood By Air and tours with A$AP would have no knowledge of GHE20G0TH1K, a party and conceptpioneered in large part by its founder (and DJ) Venus X.”

Going to Coachella? You’re a Loser and Part of the Problem and Probably Fat
“The first installment of the two weekend-long Coachella music-related-music-brand-music-festival-product is approaching, and everyone basic that you know is excited. Did you book your tickets yet? Plan your outfit? Find a place to stay?  That’s all super interesting, but here’s something else I’ve been meaning to ask you: Why did you do any of those things? Every single person going to Coachella is a fucking loser, and part of the problem, and probably fat, too.”

Tavi Gevinson: The Like, Role Model or Whatever
“Tavi Gevinson wears voices like she wears clothes: no matter what she puts on, it becomes her. Her range is teenage, spanning from disaffected like Daria to true Belieber, sometimes within a matter of syllables. When she fangirls, which is often, she’ll trill until she’s short of breath.”

Kendrick Lamar Goes Straight Outta Compton and Into the Spotlight
“For someone who once rapped, “Sometimes I need to be alone,” Lamar rarely is. In person, you’d never know the fivefoot-six, baby-faced kid from Compton has reached stadium status. He’s laid-back, if not lethargic. His eyes always appear either half-closed or half-open. He is polite and speaks in hushed tones. He doesn’t wear the custom gold grills of Lil Wayne, the full-length furs of Yeezy, or the two chains of, well, 2 Chainz. ”

How to Not Die From Taking Molly
“Getting fucked up is great, but turning into a zombie is for losers. No one wants to play Weekend At Bernie‘s with their friends at a dance club. Pull your shit together, because while it may seem like it at the time, blasting off into another dimension is no fun for anyone involved.”

30 Harsh Truths for Bands Who Want to Get Music Press Coverage
“Having been a music journalist for over a decade now for publications great and not so great, there are a few things I’ve picked up along the way that may be helpful for you, a person who is in a band, to hear.”

Aziz Ansari Interviews Aziz Ansari About Being Aziz Ansari
“Aziz Ansari appears to be one of the hardest-working comedians in show business. Between shooting the fifth season of NBC’s Parks and Recreation, he also filmed This Is the End (about what happens when the apocalypse hits during a James Franco house party), lent his voice to the animated movie Epic, toured his Buried Alive show while turning it into a video special, developed new standup material, and turned up in a short film directed by his friend Kanye West. But appearances, as they say, can be deceiving.”

The Pain, the Pleasure, But Mostly Pain, of Fashion Week
“If I’m desperately sad and drunk in New York City, it’s likely because I’ve attended an industry event. Somewhere with an open bar. Somewhere with a crowd whose combinedwealth could send my whole “East Williamsburg” neighborhood through M.D.s at NYU. Somewhere I’m RSVP’d because I may end up publishing press that bolsters this wealth. On nights like these, I travel home alone, sensing the alcohol in my veins like a Venom Symbiote, and all I see is Rist and wrists and Rist and wrists and Rist and wrists.”

Forever 69: F*ck the Commodification of Sex
“I’m looking for someone to help me produce a series of pornographic videos based on high-end fashion brands. Alexander’s Wang, Proenza Squirter, G-Spot Raw, Michael Whores, Reed Jackoff, Rage & Boner, Undressed Van Noten, Chloë Sevigny for Opening Ceremony… Stoya will star in XSL [Extreme Saint Laurent]Karl will voyeur on a gay gang bang in Caca ChanelTwo petite Japanese lesbians will fuck each other with a black strap-on in Cum des Garçons.”

Three Portraits of James Franco
“Franco’s ego is intrinsically linked to his studied insomnia. There’s simply no time for nightly eight-hour nonsense when you’re trying not only to learn, but to master, every form of creative expression known to man. He is considered many things by many people—an Oscar-nominated actor, an art world darling, a sex-obsessed filmmaker, and a leading voice of the Rx Generation—but who is the person behind the tired eyes? What follows are three portraits of the artist as a young anomaly.”

Jeff Bridges: The Last American Hero
“Life’s a trip, man, all of it. Wild stuff. Everybody floating down the bowling alley of experience. Jeff Bridges is just tripping on a higher plane than most of us. A man of simple pleasure, he’s grateful for the opportunities that have led him to this sunny cafe on New York’s Bowery, where he tucks a napkin into the neck of his T-shirt before laying into a plate of “well-cooked” scrambled eggs he’s doused  in an entire bottle of ketchup.”

Miley Cyrus Is Under the Influence and She Doesn’t Even Know It
“Still, Miley (to be precise, “Miley” = the pop star package embodied by this 20 yr old nepotist success, not an individual but a product many, many people are responsible for making) continues to demonstrate a cluelessness w/r/t her pop lineage.”

Inside Macaulay Culkin’s Bizarre Art Collective
“Culkin, now 32, has what he refers to as “Big Syndrome,” a forever-young playfulness that calls to mind Everlasting Gobstoppers, the Lost Boys, and Neverland Ranch. It’s why he recently transformed the living room of his 5,100-square-foot downtown Manhattan apartment into a playground workspace where he creates art with the other two members of 3MB Collective.”