Noel Gallagher is on the cover of Esquire U.K.this month, which means that Noel Gallagher said a bunch of hilariously disparaging things about a wide range of musicians. No one was safe from the former Oasis frontman’s tirade… except for Kanye West.
“I’ll tell you what’s wrong. Fame’s wasted on these cunts today,” he says. “Bar Kanye. You watch him on the MTV Awards and you think, ‘You can fucking say, you’re alright.'”
As for who, specifically, Gallagher doesn’t like? Don’t worry, he’ll tell you.
“Does anybody give a fuck about what any of these current pop stars are up to? Who gives a shit what fucking One Direction do? Cocksuckers, all of them in rehab by the time they’re 30. Who gives a shit what Ellie Goulding is up to? Really? Adele, what? Blows my fucking mind. It blows my fucking mind. Nobody cares! Fame’s wasted on them, with their fucking in-ear monitors and their electronic cigarettes. And their fragrances that they’re bringing out for Christmas. You fucking dicks,” he says.
Adele! How dare he throw Adele in the mix. But he’s not done with One Direction just yet:
“Harry Styles has got nothing to say for himself – nothing. ‘You alright, mate?’ ‘Uhhh.’ That’s it.”
Yikes, maybe Styles is not alright. He saves his best insults for Radiohead:
“I’m aware that Radiohead have never had a fucking bad review. I reckon if Thom Yorke fucking shit into a light bulb and started blowing it like an empty beer bottle it’d probably get 9 out of 10 in fucking Mojo. I’m aware of that.”
But wait, there’s more – Gallagher decided to give Radiohead one last chance to redeem themselves in his discerning eyes at Coachella a couple years ago. “We walked out through the crowd as they came on, and they were playing this post-techno: “de-de de de”. We were a bit pissed. Fucking great. And then he started singing. No. Not for us. We’re party people.”
But for all the hilarious things Gallagher says, there’s one sentence that really sums up the piles of shit and less terrible shit that our eardrums have lived through the past decade and a half:
“You’re not seriously telling me that anyone is going to be listening to Foals in 12 years. Is anybody going to be fucking begging for Hot Chip to get back together in 22 years? I don’t fucking think so.”