February 6, 2013
Photo by Matthias Clamer via ESPN
Photo by Matthias Clamer via ESPN

Olympian swimmer, and bonafide brouche (bro/douche hybrid mutant neologism we’re going to try to hammer through here), has posed for the cover of the ESPN Magazine music issue, something that exists, recreating the iconic image of Nirvana’s Nevermind. “Meh, I’ve seen worse,” said Kurt Cobain’s perpetually-centrifuging skeleton. We’re all still very precious about the memory of our dearly departed rock-pixie savior, but by this point it barely even registers anymore, at least not until the inevitable Kurly Corb-Comp biopic comes out.

So where does this rate on the level of Nevermind-ian sacrilege. It doesn’t even break the top 6.

6) Courtney Love, everything post-Live Through This (Holy shit that was good though).

5) Kurt as a playable character in Guitar Hero.

4) Paul McCartney fronting “Nirvana.”

3) The Muppets covering “Smells Like Teen Spirit.”

2) Miley Cyrus covering “Smells Like Teen Spirit.”

1) This army recruiter at a state fair in New Hampshire blasting out pushups while “Smells Like Teen Spirit” plays in the background. USA! USA!

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