There’s dating sites for all kinds of people—Christian Mingle for those choosing to wait, Seeking Arrangements for those looking to score, even Farmer’s Only, but that’s pretty self-explanatory. On all of these sites, people write pathetic bios sharing all the things they’re looking for in a mate, and all the things they love. But what if you’re a serious bitch like us, and hate everything? Well, then I guess you’re destined to spend the rest of your pessimistic life alone. Or at least, you were, until Hater popped up on my Instagram Feed, because I’m about to blow your mind—and potentially change your life. Hater is the new dating app that matches you based on the things you despise. Like long walks on the beach? Try Tinder because Hater is for those of us with no soul.
I mean, having things in common with your partner is super important. But I don’t really care if my boyfriend likes baseball. I do, however, love the fact that he hates the same Creed songs I do. All relationships need a solid—if negative—foundation, right?
That’s where Hater comes in. All you have to do is download the app and find your Supreme-hating significant. Another positive: you’ll never have to wonder if he likes doing butt stuff, because it’ll say so right there. Hates: anal. You had me at (hel)loathe.
And because everyone else in the world is getting paid to write shit (SugarBearHairCare, anyone?), just to be clear: Hater did not pay us. They don’t even know who we are. But if by any chance the genius who started it is reading this—e-mail me! We want to team up! Also, we might be soulmates.