Culture

It Turns Out Not All Real Estate Agents Are Horrifying Hell-Spawn Nightmares

Culture

It Turns Out Not All Real Estate Agents Are Horrifying Hell-Spawn Nightmares

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Now that everyone has been sufficiently horrified about the prospect of ever having to turn to a realtor to find a place to live by the Real Estate Agent Headshots Tumblr that’s rapidly being shared about the internet, we thought it would only be fair to remind you that there are many professional, hardworking realtors out there dedicated to finding you a home at a fair price, and, more importantly, who don’t look like they’re going to unhinge their thousand-jawed demon mandibles and swallow us whole (once we’ve signed over the deposit). Here are a few we find on Twitter, which should serve as yet another reminder in life, as if there weren’t enough already, that being attractive automatically makes you better at your job.

 

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@SheriBrownND is “A Realtor who services North Delta-Surrey-Cloverdale-White Rock,” wherever any of those places are, maybe in computer land, because this looks like a stock photo.

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@RealtorJessicaM  is a “Realtor in Northern California working on my Broker’s License & opening a Property Management Company.” She’s also bad a photoshop, but don’t hold that against her.

 

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@brockharris might have a punchable name, but more importantly, he doesn’t have a punchable face. Let’s all go buy an apartment from him in Silver Lake, Los Angeles, which is where, I’m told, many hipsters and also poor people live.

 

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@karinbaker has all of your needs covered in Tahoe, including any questions you may have about the area’s schools, shopping centers, and whether or not robots have a sense of selfhood and a soul.

 

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@Brad_tweets is a realtor in Seattle where he enjoys spending time with his dog and his nice teeth.

 

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@mayaREguru is a realtor in Philly and that check mark next to her face is probably something to do with her professional capacity or something, but, more importantly for us, it’s a check mark next to the symmetry of her facial features and non-deadness behind the eyes, which is what we look for in a realtor.

 

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@sashe12l here is 100% a stock photo that has nothing to do with the real estate firm who uses her picture on Twitter, but I’m going to go ahead and try to connect with her online anyway just in case. Who knows, maybe we hit it off? Maybe we move in together and she knows the perfect little place for us.

 

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I thought that @EJKucinich looked familiar this whole time I was imagining her looking right through me into my soul and ascertaining exactly what type of utilities I’d be willing to pay for on a monthly basis (and what my favorite type of music and thoughts on child rearing are), then I realized she’s Dennis Kucinich’s wife, so, once again, good for that tiny little man for teaching us that sometimes even the nerds win.