March 26, 2014

From the BBC comes this report that North Korean men are now being forced to get their haircut exactly like their vile, ruthless leader Kim Jong-un. The thing is, that unlike his father, who sported a towering bouffant that was meant to emphasize his height and his lunacy, the younger Kim actually has a pretty cool ‘do. In fact, it’s the exact same ‘do all my pals back in Toronto pay about $60 to get cut at a place called Crow’s Nest. It’s the kind of place where they hand you a PBR while you wait.

But not everyone is happy with looking like Michael Pitt from Boardwalk Empire. “Our leader’s haircut is very particular, if you will. It doesn’t always go with everyone since everyone has different face and head shapes,” said one person who spoke very, very anonymously.

The mandate was introduced in capital city Pyongyang two weeks ago, and has since spread to the rest of the country. Before this, the North Korean government let its men choose between 10 different haircuts, none of which anyone in Williamsburg would be caught dead sporting.


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