One of the biggest stories to come out of this year’s Cannes Film Festival centered around a scene in Lee Daniels’ the paperboy where Nicole Kidman pees on Zac Efron after he’s been stung by a jellyfish. Vulture described the scene as having Nicole Kidman squirt “an impressive stream of urine onto the High School Musical star’s face and bare chest.” (Aside: the word “squirt” is uncomfortably onomatopoetic, isn’t it?) Kidman talked to V about the scene and sounded pretty cool about her work in it. “It said so much about Charlotte. One, she’s protecting him. Two, she’s tough as nails and no one else is going to pee on this guy. All of that made total sense to me. I just went for it and didn’t overthink it.” Uhhh, so the way this sounds, Nicole Kidman actually peed on Zac Efron and used that whole “It was the character doing it, I was actually somewhere on the astral plane playing skeeball with Whitney Houston and Aleister Crowley the whole time” logic to justify it to the press. Has anyone thought to ask Zac Efron how he felt about being peed on? What about Lee Daniels’ role in all of this; I know realism is important to directors, but hasn’t Daniels heard of the remarkable innovations in the field of digital piss?