Traditionally, Miss World is a pageant designed to make us feel extra shitty about the way we look. Now, with its enhanced focus on philanthropy, Miss World is a pageant designed to make us feel shitty about the way we look and the selfish, narcissistic ways in which we live our lives. They call it, “Beauty with purpose.” I call it, “put some extra bacon on that cheeseburger and pack some extra plastic utensils because what’s the fucking point.”
But enough about my Sunday night. This year’s winner is the irritatingly luminous Miss South Africa, Rolene Strauss, a 22-year-old med student (big whoop).
“Donning a high, blue and golden jeweled crown and pale pink, off-the-shoulder, romantic-style, cleavage-baring, ruffled evening gown, Strauss waved and smiled to the crowd,” E! reports. That’s a lot of adjectives.
But, more importantly: MISS AMERICA WAS SECOND RUNNER UP.
U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A!