The wretched, floundering and MM-MMH DELICIOUS microwaveable-poison mill referred to by some as the “Olive Garden” has apparently decided to make their swag as unlimited as their salad and breadsticks: get ready for BAPE Uniforms at Olive Garden. This exclusive tidbit was discovered by a Crosby Press staffer who prefers to remain anonymous to the likes of us, but is now a legend in the office. Will 40 Oz. Van be doing the hats?
We thought nothing could touch #Been #PacSun or Magna Carta Holy Samsung in the realm of bizarroworld $ellout Edition corporate collaborations, but BAPE (which with Nigo, its founder, is no longer associated) is just begging to prove us wrong. Pour one out for the hypebeasts today, whose list of credible wardrobe options is shrinking like a wool Coogi sweater in a high-heat spin cycle. We can barely wrap our heads around it, from the synaptic tragicomedy of its inception to the subsequent deluge of punchlines it will incite. Let me take this opportunity to predict a dystopian future in which all we wear are fast food uniforms, not much different than the rampant corporate fetishism that’s been cute for more than a minute within the NYC fashion community. How utterly McChic.
In the spirit of OG x BAPE, we should all be tweeting our own ideas for iconic streetwear/style mixed with restaurant food more processed than T-Pain’s vocals. Might I suggest the #FoodChainz hashtag? Here are my suggestions (tweet me yours @LILGOVERNMENT)…
Ecko Red Lobster
FuBuffalo Wild Wing
IHOP (International Hype Of Product)
Marithé + François Quiznaud’s