Culture

New App For Girls LuLu Is Yelp For Dating, Depressing

Culture

New App For Girls LuLu Is Yelp For Dating, Depressing

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A new mobile application called Lulu has launched nationally this week, after a successful beta-run at Florida State and the University of Florida. Available on iOS and Android and in fantasy land where anyone possibly thinks this is going to last for more than a few months, the app says they “put women in the driver’s seat when it comes to dating intelligence.” As the press release explains:

The app is unashamedly exclusive and only girls can create and read reviews of the guys they know. This game-changing move has driven guys crazy and tens of thousands of them have tried – and failed – to get into the system. Prince Andrew and Prime Minister David Cameron even popped into Lulu’s London Headquarters to see what all the fuss was about!”

I bet they did. Here’s how it works… *stares out window for twenty minutes*

Ok fine, here’s how it works:

Much like Yelp, which Girls on Lulu review guys they know in a number of categories including appearance, humor, manners, ambition, first kiss, sex, and commitment. The app allows girls to choose a photo of a guy and add his name to the database. They can also add hashtags to his profile so other girls can see what’s most loveable about him, and what to watch out for. The overwhelming majority of Lulu reviews are positive — girls spreading the world about their awesome brother or cute coworker. There is also a popular “Dear Dude” feature where real guys answer outrageous questions from girls on sex and dating.

So, in other words, you get the full spectrum of guys available in the dating pool, from nice, to really nice, just like in the real world. Is your potential beau #SweetToMom or #Romantic? What if he is but he’s also #RudeToWaiters and #CrazyJealous, they ask? Now you can know, by filing and categorizing human beings in the same way you would Instagrams of soup. Think of it like a Pinterest board where instead of cupcake recipes you’re pinning photos of people who’ll you be comfortable farting on the couch with while eating takeout silently in front of the TV in a year or two best case scenario. Or also like a pin-up board in a serial killer’s apartment where you post all the pictures of your intended victims. Also, you can tell pretty easy if the dude has horrible sunglasses and a punchable face, apparently, at least based on that one example pic up there.

But what do I know, all of my reviews on Lulu so far are tagged #HatesHimself #HatesEverything #MiserablePrick, so maybe it’s a great idea. Sign up here.

Follow @lukeoneil47